Today was another game day for the Canadian men. With an evening game on the schedule we were granted plenty of time to relax and prepare throughout the day.
The lads spent the majority of the afternoon focusing on the impending match against Trinidad and Tobago. Consequently, I don’t have very much interesting news to provide. Nevertheless, I will do my best to exaggerate on a couple of noteworthy events.
First, Adam Froese stood on his chair in the crowded dining hall and announced to the heavens, “I AM A GIANT!!” Nobody knows why he did this. Adam claims that he doesn’t remember the incident and maintains that it must have been some sort of celestial experience.
The only other event worth noting was Taylor Curran’s dissent regarding the deplorable lifestyle choices of team dreamboat Richard Hildreth.
Curran made some unsavoury comments about Hildreth’s inability to settle down with a suitable mate. Hildreth confuted with a clever and relevant comment about Taylor’s stupid hair. Hildreth clearly and decisively won the argument.
Moving on to the game, Canada had a very discombobulated start to the match against “The Calypso Stickmen”.
Team ginger Scott Tupper managed to lose his jersey at some point between warm-up and the beginning of the game. Ergo, he was required to adorn a practice shirt with #4 taped to the back. It looked very professional.
Moments into the game, Tupper’s befuddled day would continue as he was involved in a collision that opened a grisly gash on his head. Fortunately the blood gushing from his head could not be detected due to it’s resemblance to his outlandish ginger locks.
The remainder of the game went well for the Canadians. Tupper scored the first goal on a corner. Pearson scored the least convincing goal of all time to double the lead.
Finally, DJ aka “Mr. 200” provided the insurance with the third goal. Canada is still struggling to capitalize on their plethora of scoring opportunities.
With that being said, DJ pompously told the team that “he didn’t get this memo” and that scoring goals is easy. His smug attitude since earning his 200th cap is getting on everyone’s nerves.
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